We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
