physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
