he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
