I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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