This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
