i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
