I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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