Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
