I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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