Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
