I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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