if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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