just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize