If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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