I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
