she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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