STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
