she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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