I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I AM VODKA MAN
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
