I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
