Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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