Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
