I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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