Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
