Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
