At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
