so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
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