I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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