I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
