I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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