Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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