when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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