babies were throwing up all over the place
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
