going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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