The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
