i need an iv and a liver transplant
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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