You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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