you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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