so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
