I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
