Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize