these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
