Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
