Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i dont even know how to be here
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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