i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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