At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize