sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she peed on how many people?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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