well I can't set my house on fire every night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this will be a night to untag.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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