so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
