first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
