How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
