my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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