I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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