Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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