Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
