What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
