Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
