No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
