Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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