Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
